Tonight, I’ve been looking through the first journal I ever wrote. It’s quite a piece of work. I was eleven years old, not particularly skilled in writing, but quite ambitious, and just the teeniest bit vain (okay a whole lot of vain). Here are some of the best lines: (Before you start, please remember you are laughing with me, not at me.)

First few lines in the journal:: “I think you are a great idea. I can write down all my feelings and look back at them. I wonder how many people in the world have diaries?…..You know, it is your birthday.” (Such a thoughtful, inquisitive soul. A real philosopher. Quite amazing, really.)

(A few days later) “Yesterday, I told my Mom I was seriously thinking of being an actress…..(People think I have talent)….I am also trying to write a book. But I can’t get down the plot. I want people to admire me. But not too much.” (Yea, right.)

Then later: “Sometimes I think humans are very vain. They think only of their kind. It’s so cruel to kill any animal….When i grow up I’m going to be a complete vegetarian. Bye. P.S. Or maybe I won’t.” [I didn’t.]

And a few days later, again with the animals: “Sometimes I wonder if we are the smartest thhings on earth? All animals are probably equal. Though we invent things they know how and when to move, build houses thicker, hibernate, act. We think being smart is to invent thing, look into space, talk, etc. I will look into animals more carefully.” [I didn’t.]

When we got home from vacation: “Well I’m home. It feels good. Our cats Samantha and Cheescake were glad to see us. That’s what I like about our cats. They know that we’re their owners and they follow us around.” (They might have also been hungry.)

And then I had this annoying habit of starting out each entry apologizing to my diary for not writing. To settle it once and for all, I finally wrote at the end of one entry: “Oh yea, I decided not to say sorry if I haven’t written. You’ll just know I am.” (Glad that got straightened out. Mr. Diary would have been really offended.)

And then on some other page I note: “I am not going to write about every little detail from now on, only the highlights.” (Oh, okay. Thanks for sharing)

There’s nothing like vanity in the guise of sympathy: “I’ve been practicing the guitar a real lot now and have gotten pretty good at it. I wonder if it will lead me into a career. But there’s one thing I don’t like. It’s when people comment [I think I meant compliment] me on the guitar because I don’t want (my sister) to feel bad. Because she started first and stuff. I know how it feels.” (Cause you know, I could have had a career and all.)

Alright, I had my fun. Who’s next? Did you keep a diary? And where is it? Come on. Give me a peeksy.